Last night, we had a slight argument over the belief in his religious. All these while, I understand that he has been good intention by asking me to open my heart and give his god a chance to accept his existence. However, I rejected his kind intention due to the fact that I still could not open my heart to any of the god yet. He became defensive and said that I had doubt in his intention. We quarreled via the Whatsapp. I felt upset and pissed over his offensive words. Though he apologized, his apology was not sincere at all. Since then, we have not messaged yet.
Shortly after, I posted a comment in FB. Hoping that he would see it and understand that sometime, thing cannot be rushed. Stating that "Losing cool does not help at all. Learnt to stay calm". But I guessed he missed my comment. Even he saw it, he could not understand it too. I also noticed that he went for a run after our argument. He ran longer and faster. I ever mentioned to him that when I am angry or in trouble, I prefer to run or swim because from there, I can find my peace. I believe he is doing the same too. I do hope that he can find his peace from there.
After this argument, I tend to understand him more. He is a defensive, quick tempered and MC guy though he can be lame, smart and humorous. I am scared because I found that my emotion is easily affected by him. Example, when he told me that he knew a new girl or out with the same girl repeatedly, I tend to be jealous over it. Right now, I feel sad. Sometime, I do wish that I can be like a stone. Because becoming a stone, I have no feeling at all.
Honestly, I do not know how he feels about me. All I know it is better to stay in friends now. Though I admit, I have crush on him.
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